Lately, a lot of realizations have been going on while I sleep. Last night I had a dream that I was searching for a gas station with working pumps and at another point in the dream, I was looking for my dog. I realized that I have a lot of dreams where I am searching… Continue reading Losing Things
Category: Random thoughts
Quick Thoughts – 07/26
Working on a journal my therapist recommended shadow work. It will supposedly help me with my attachment issues. Today's journal prompt was about describing my relationship with my mother as a child. The problem is I don't remember. I can remember a few specific events. But in general, I remember very little of my childhood.… Continue reading Quick Thoughts – 07/26
Painful Thoughts – Day 2
Well, yesterday was extremely painful. I allowed the stories in my head to pretty much ruin the whole day. And unfortunately, I am still not in a better place today. Ugh, I am so frustrated, hurt, and angry. A lot of anger. Let's get you caught up, so I shared my blog about my thoughts… Continue reading Painful Thoughts – Day 2
Random Thoughts – Daily Writing (07/23)
Well, I am back in school, 3 week breaks go fast. I've decided I should get back to some daily writing if possible to dust the rust off it. I've had trouble sleeping the last two days. Last night I woke up at 2 am with a very vivid thought about a time in my… Continue reading Random Thoughts – Daily Writing (07/23)
Transference and Jealousy
I've been trying to process my feelings and learn from them. Not to judge me but to see what these things are telling me and how I might grow from them. I've been seeing the same therapist now for almost 7 years. During that time I have seen how that relationship and my feelings about… Continue reading Transference and Jealousy
Sharing
Making mistakes is so hard to digest. So little compassion I provide to myself. A recent misstep at work haunts me. Tossing about spreadsheets in my sleep and waking to it fresh and relived on my mind. Work has been extremely stressful this last month. Due to personal issues, I've been unable to swim for… Continue reading Sharing
Love Of All Things Therapy
Love me some therapy, The doctoral-type notes she takes make me feel like what I have to say is important,The sense of comfort feeling that the wisdom of some solution lies on that pad, Fascinated as I watch how professionally and nonchalantly, she directs the flow of conversation traffic,Appreciating the significant skill and years of… Continue reading Love Of All Things Therapy
Vomit Diary – 06/09/22
I've been thinking a lot lately. No surprise there. So here is more a less a dump of what has been on my mind. I've been feeling very triggered by my recovery meetings for some time now. Which I know is me and how I am choosing to show up at those meetings. I've stopped… Continue reading Vomit Diary – 06/09/22
It is OK to be smart in recovery
There are certain one liners in 12-step recovery that absolutely drive me crazy. My least favorite is that “you can be too smart to get sober but not too dumb.” I understand the overall meaning of this. It is about ego and being humble. However, the context in which it is often used is to… Continue reading It is OK to be smart in recovery
Quick Check-In
I've been off Facebook for more than a week, Slowly detoxing,Luckily I've had distractions,I've fallen off with my writing,Even though I probably need that now more than ever,I felt very lonely today,I found myself on several occasions in daydreams of connection,The real stuff,Not the low-calorie substitute,It is bizarre having a house full of people and… Continue reading Quick Check-In
Shaynanigans 