Cinematic Feelings

The words are sitting there perched waiting to be articulated,
I can feel it somewhere within, perhaps in my spleen,
Not sure what a spleen is for but perhaps to provide a place for the words to perch,
I am certain that once they are released that deep ache will be stretched,
That inner tension will finally have relief,
The same relief felt after paddling the pink canoe mid ovulation,
Feelings so deliciously rich like licking a giant spoon dripping with dark chocolate icing,
Do these feelings radiate?

She said I was attractive,
Not new, but I grin every time I get her to say the words out loud,
My romantic heart once again swoons,
In love with the soul of a woman who will never be mine,
But that love.
That love is mine.

Amused, amusing, how terribly cinematic I depict life when in this mood,
Very fairy tell the very flair of these words,
Reruns of my cinema worthy edited past,
Every ex, every candle lit cuddle, every black and white filtered kiss,
Precious attachments captured and stored,
Until they are once again explored.
No regrets,
Blessed for everyone woman whose ever arched her hips,
As I parted her lips with my tongue,
Grateful for every vulnerable hello and goodbye,
Honored for every heart I’ve held, however brief,
God is definitely a woman,
If you doubt this, then you’ve simply never been with one.

Fuck Me With Your Mind

Make me wet with your intellect and all of your passion,
When you share your thoughts on psychology, science and politics, don’t ration,
Captivate me with the significance of Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964,
Expound upon Watergate and the Vietnam War,
Orate about Quantum Theory and how time does not exist,
Please don’t stop…I insist,
Give a discourse on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Repeal Act of 2010,
My safe word is red, don’t worry, I’ll say when.

Discuss mass shooter psychology and gun laws,
All the titillating things that give my heart pause,
Talk to me about political parties and parliamentary systems,
Or your musings on string theory, I would not dare miss them,
Animate how critical in the bottom of the ninth is a sacrifice fly,
Explain that the number of runners who score is an RBI,
Unbutton my pants,
As we chat about Van Gogh’s depiction of Saint-Remy-de-Provence in the south of France.

While we debate the issues of stem cell research using human embryos,
Slowly strip off my clothes,
Gently touch me with a speech on the multi-universe and binary digits,
Or on black hole physics and all things delicious,
Spread my legs apart,
With your dissertation on Dante’s Inferno and the Miserere transcribed by Mozart,
Elucidate gender identity-based employment discrimination,
And the impacts of the first gay rights organization.

Tease me when you discuss casually,
Of all the work you are doing for LGBTQ advocacy,
Penetrate me with a lesson on the Suffragette movement and the history of feminism,
Thrust upon me a homily of the Tao, Christianity and Buddhism,
You might make me cum if you can talk coherently,
About non-guilt based recovery and attachment based therapy.

But if she can’t carry a conversation and pleasure my brain,
I’ll abstain,
If she is a girl of my kind,
She will fuck me with her mind.

Still Dreaming

I tried to drink away the feeling,
But there I was still dreaming,
Moved but not yet moving on,
Maybe if I write this it’ll pass and be forever gone.

Standing in the driveway staring up at the sky,
Wondering if I’d know you if you passed me by,
Digging deep and sweating,
Sun beats down…forgetting,
How it felt to have you by my side,
I’d claim it no longer hurts…but I’d lie.

Working hard to better…the person that was so easily tossed away,
But who I am now is a mystery,
So I turn it over…and over…and I pray,
Make me whole again…

I try to date but I’m not able,
Frankly I’m too unstable,
In the mirror I see nothing good looking back at me,
Nothing like the me in your eyes I used to see.

Another sunset…marveling at the beauty,
Ocean breeze and all the things that move me,
But is it real when you have to experience it alone,
Will any place without you ever feel like home?

Working hard to better…the person that was so easily thrown away,
But who I am now is a mystery,
So I turn it over…and over…and I pray,
Make me whole again…


Heart Setting

My heart is hurting,
The sun set tonight,
Its disconcerting,
The removal of the light,
Many moons have passed since feeling that warm,
Wanting to hold it like the last firefly in the pasture,
Before the evening thunderstorm,
Something that beautiful you cannot capture,
The long nights slowly kill the weeds,
Grateful that this won’t last,
But even the darkness has needs,
How bleak that it is in contrast,
With the twilight that supersedes,
Compared to the blazing colors she cast,
My crying heart, now it bleeds.