Random thoughts · Week Ahead

Update and Week Ahead 09/06/22

Well, I figured I should type out my week ahead and give an update since the last time I’ve written. First, I am now on my 3rd new mood stabilizer. The Topamax was no good, and then she had me on something else which I already forgot the name of, and now I am on Abilify but only 2 1/2 mg per day along with my normal Lamictal and Effexor. We shall see how it goes. I am of course concerned about the potential side effect of the drug which is to crave sweets. I am hoping the meds help and I don’t have those side effects. Apparently, if these don’t work next up is Rimicade. As you may have recalled I had a bit of a meltdown over a month ago with my therapist. I haven’t been back to see her since then. My first appointment back is this Friday, so that should be interesting. I am a bit anxious about it.

Recovery has been a bit hit or miss when it comes to attending certain recovery meetings. I’ve had to switch some things up so I didn’t continue to get triggered. This also included giving up my personal Instagram account. I still have my art insta account but outside of that, I am officially 100% off social media. Blogging is now my only outlet in the internet world.

I am going into week 8 of this 12-week class. This is my first 12-week class and it is a bit brutal. Typically I’d be wrapping up and getting super pumped for a break, but here I am tired and I still have four more weeks left. It probably doesn’t help that the topic isn’t very exciting to me. It is all about research methods which makes me want to gouge my eyes out. I am a right-brain creative individual, nothing is more painful to me than reading and writing about research methods and statistics. The last assignment has a crazy point value associated with it, 30 points. Insane.

I just had a nice long weekend. I took off Friday and then had Monday off due to the holiday. So tomorrow is technically my Monday. The first thing new I’ll be trying tomorrow is to start my day with rowing. Over a month ago, I discussed how I would be attempting to row every day, even if just for 5 minutes for the remainder of the year. I am happy to report that I have held true to that so far. It’ll be six weeks this Wednesday that I have rowed at a minimum of 5 min each day. This has led to other positive behaviors. I’ve been tracking my food almost every day, even on the days that I go over, with the exception of maybe 4 days in the last six weeks. I also swim for 30 minutes almost every day. At the minimum 4 times a week. I lift weights throughout the week fairly regularly. All these changes have not resulted in any weight loss. In fact, I’ve gained like 5 lbs over the last month. I am attributing it to muscle but I don’t know. All I know is that at some point if I keep on doing this and keep watching what I eat I have to start seeing the weight come off. I am starting to see some small changes in my body as far as more muscle and a bit more tone. The positive health behaviors have helped my mental health to some degree and it has made me more hopeful for the future in general. Anyhow, tomorrow, I will start rowing in the morning. The last time I had some good success with weight loss is when I started doing exercise in the morning prior to me eating anything. I am hoping this small change will make a difference.

Tuesday and Wednesday I have commitments and I’ll be starting on homework. Thursday will most likely be spent doing homework. Friday I have my long-awaited therapy appointment. Then the rest of the weekend will be spent doing homework I am sure. Exciting. Off to bed. Exhausted.

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