Daily Writing

Reflection and Forward Thinking

The topic for the meeting last night was the tools used most in 2022 for our recovery and the tools we hope to use more in 2023. I struggled to think about the tools I successfully deployed in 2022. However, that is in part because I am hard on myself. What I managed to get right was staying sober and never giving up.

I shared about wanting more balance in 2023. Much of 2022 was about egocentric goals. I would like to give back more through my day-to-day interactions. It is hard for me to be the way I want to be in day-to-day interactions. Sometimes, a smile or even a hello can feel like an exerted effort.

The main things lacking in 2022 were play, exploration, and connection. I need to prioritize making time for play and laughter, exploring new places, and expanding my connections with new people. When life gets busy, it is tempting to do nothing when I could be doing something. I spent too much time watching television. When you feel tired and stressed, cutting out play, exploration, and connection sounds like a way to save time. However, these are the things that provide fuel, and I forget that.

My ability to achieve what I want in 2023 and to find balance begins with my habits. My daily actions will ensure better health. Eventually, forming healthier habits will make doing the things I need to do to achieve my goals and stay balanced easier. However, at first, it will feel hard. The energy required to overcome inertia is more difficult than continuing movement in-progress.

I watched a series on Hulu in December titled, Fleishman’s in Trouble. The series was about coming to grips with mid-life. This hit hard since this year I will be turning 40. In the last episode, they emphasized today you are as young as we will ever be. I wrote a poem that touched on this once, it was called Appreciation before Depreciation. It is easy to forget that in a blink, we will be in our 60s and 70s (if we are lucky) and dealing with all the things that come with aging. Today, I still walk with little to no pain. Today, my loving dog, Charlie, is in good health and can still jump and play with ease. Today, my parents and sister are alive and healthy. There are no guarantees for tomorrow. I hope to carry daily gratitude through actions today.

One of my New Year’s resolutions outside of the things I mentioned above, is to write daily. To write when I don’t feel like it, even if it is just one paragraph, and when what I have to share is of no interest to others.

Wishing everyone peace in present moments this year.

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