Random thoughts

My 3-4 Year Plans

Alright, the other wonderful piece of information I’ve decided to get out of my head and onto the computer “paper” is my 3 to 4-year plans. This will require some context and backstory. When I was in my early 20s, working for the same company I do now, I had the opportunity to travel to several different foreign countries. I visited the Philippines 3 times, once an 8-week trip to Manila, and then two more trips to Cebu, each trip about 10 weeks. There were many things I loved about those trips. The culture of the Filipino people, the food, and the weather, just to name a few. I particularly loved Cebu where they had some of the most beautiful beaches and women I’ve ever seen. While on my trip to Cebu, I met someone. I won’t share all the details of that story. That is ours. But I will share that during that time we fell in love. It was really hard when I had to leave. For a short time, we attempted to see if we could do the long-distant thing, but I was not emotionally or mentally prepared for something like that. I had this ex back home who was still around and things just got really confusing for me quickly. I was young and immature. Therefore, we decided to just be friends. It was a painful time for both of us.

Over the years, however, we’ve always maintained our friendship. We have followed each other on social media. We would chat periodically, sometimes we would reminisce on old times and I think during those times of reminiscing we would both realize that there were feelings still there. Yet, neither of us I don’t think saw us being together as a possibility. So, we both went on living our own lives. I got married and then divorced. She got “married” and then “divorced” (in quotes only because technically it isn’t legal in the PHL). We both had other relationships and other job positions. Life in general as it tends to do continued to unfold. Yet our friendship was always there.

I moved to Florida about 6 years ago after my divorce and since I moved to Florida I really have been focused on my mental, physical, and emotional health. I had to get sober after a relapse, I see a therapist regularly and treat my mental health with the necessary medications. I’ve lost a significant amount of weight however I still have much more to lose. I went back to school and got my master’s degree. Now I am currently working on my Ph.D. The focus has never been on dating. I had a few short and small attempts at dating while living here, a fling here or there. But nothing serious. Anyway, I am all about dreaming big and making plans. I had been trying to figure out exactly what I was going to do when I got my Ph.D. The universities around here do not have strong Psychology programs where I would have good opportunities to teach. On top of that, I live in a very red, far-right republican area, which does not make me feel safe. I knew I would need to move to find a job and move somewhere where it was a bit bluer. When thinking of places to move I really was having a hard time coming up with good options. My therapist and I usually landed on California, because it is liberal and warm. Both of which I value. However, California is crazy expensive, I don’t know anyone out there, they are running out of water and are always on fire. Therefore, California really didn’t sound great either.

I was online looking at houses around the US the other day and checked out my current house estimate. It said if I sold my house today I could make 200k. I was blown away. That is nuts. Granted the cost of housing is crazy high right now but I have done a lot to improve my house and it is in a great location. In fact, when I thought of moving for work after my Ph.D., the plan was to rent out my house as a vacation rental for a side hustle. I had still planned on keeping my house in Florida because I do really love the tropical weather, being close to the beach, and having my own pool. I really lucked out when I bought this house, it was a great time to be a buyer 6 years ago. You couldn’t even come close to getting the type of house I have at the price I bought it for 6 years ago.

Anyway, I got a bit off track there. Pre-covid, this woman and I, we were making plans for me to come to see her in the Philippines. It was the first time in 10 years we had had any kind of serious conversation about trying to get back together in any way. Then covid hit and travel was shut down and it just threw those plans out the window. During that time, she also decided to get a girlfriend. I initially still wanted to try to keep the plans to visit but she wanted to give this new relationship a chance. So I let it go.

So now here we are 2 1/2 years later. Covid is still around but not as crazy. She reached out to me maybe a few months ago, letting me know that relationship had ended. We chatted a bit as friends but nothing more really. I was kind of going through my own shit. Dealing with confusing feelings about my therapist, which let me tell you, therapy can do a number on those. Dealing with trying to get my meds balanced again but they still aren’t balanced. However, I think the thought of her being single, was in there in the back of my head noodling around. I personally have been single for 7 years now. I honestly just haven’t found anyone here to who I am attracted.

Well two days ago maybe, I am lying by the pool after having gone for a swim. And honestly, I really don’t know where it came from, but the idea occurred to me, why don’t I sell everything after I get my Ph.D. and move to the Philippines to be with her. If I sold everything, I’d have a nice little nest egg and she and I could live pretty comfortably and with my Ph.D. I should be able to get a job at a university anywhere. I was immediately excited, but I had no idea if she really still wanted to be with me and what she would think of the idea.

To my delight, she is 100% on board with it. The feelings we both had for each other 12 years ago are still there. She is even willing to wait for me while I finish my degree. She said she has waited 12 years, what is a few more? I couldn’t believe it! The idea of this plan is extremely exciting and terrifying at the same time. Right now 2026 seems extremely far away, but in my experience time goes really fast. Especially when you are busy and I am always busy. I work full time, and I am in school full time, when I am not doing those two things I am either creating or selling my art, or I am working on my recovery. I am certain this will keep my life full and I have time now to prepare and look forward to being with her again. I have an insane exciting adventure waiting for me in just 3 1/2 short years ahead. Well now, that I’ve gotten all of this out of my head I am really hoping that I could sleep now. Good night world. I look forward to sharing more with you are I move along this journey of getting my Ph.D. and moving halfway around the country to be with the love of my life. Wish me luck!

Cover Photo by Cris Tagupa on Unsplash

One thought on “My 3-4 Year Plans

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