Daily Writing

Morning Thoughts – 08/4/22

Grateful it is Thursday. It has been very stressful at work lately. Just lots to do, too much really, and in general not enough time to do it. I have a crazy-ass hard assignment that is due on Sunday. But then, every assignment, when you are going for your Ph.D., isn’t particularly easy. I found out yesterday that a family member has stage 4 cancer. That has to be really scary for her and her immediate family. Life-changing diagnoses. Her daughter is only in her 20s. I guess people die though right? That is the path we are all on. All of my family is getting older, and I am getting older, so soon this will be the new normal. Totally makes sense of every vampire story that humans have conjured up. Fantasizing of characters who don’t have to grapple with their own mortality. I wonder if it is easier or harder thinking of death when you have a significant other and kids. In some respects, I think perhaps it would be easier, with better chances you’ll be taken care of and won’t die alone. But then I suppose there is more worry and sadness of having to leave them.

What a bizarre life and world we live in. Right now there are countries fighting each other. Large populations of people pick up guns to fight strangers just because some egotistical leader said that it was necessary. I suppose it gives people a sense of purpose and community. One that many are seeking and don’t have prior to.

My mind is a bit all over the place today. I am thinking perhaps I need a bit of gratitude this morning. Right now, I am grateful for doctors, healers, and therapists. I am grateful for the sun, for my job, my dogs, and my very beautiful sweet boys. I am grateful for my recovery commitments and the hope that somehow the connection or space I hold with them gives them some hope and helps them in some way. I am grateful for scientists. There are millions of research articles available at my fingertips to explore and learn what scientists in the 100 years before me have discovered about the human psyche. What fascinating creatures we are. I am grateful to any friend or family who has been a part of my life and supported me in any way. I’m grateful for the decision to get off Facebook. Best decision I’ve ever made. Even though initially I had said it would be just a year’s sabbatical, I think I am done with it for good. All it did was make me compare myself to others and stress out over stupid political posts. I feel healthier just by not having that be a part of my life. I guess that is a good start to a good morning gratitude list. I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

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