I recently realized that my ability to write poetry or even blog for that matter only exists when I am in pain. This is a bit disheartening indeed as I enjoyed that method of expression. My med doctor suggested basically acting as if and writing anyway. These blogs then are my attempt really just to write. I am going to call them my vomit diaries. They may at some point lead to something good or they could be just the ramblings of a middle-aged white woman, you’ve been warned.
I am currently in an Overview of Psychological Concepts course. This week was on ethics and we had to read 3 summaries of studies and explain what potential ethical issues may exist. The main thing I’ve learned this week is how lacking in diversity the psychological field is, both in psychologists but also in the people that are studied. White people make up about 70+ percent of psychologists. The other thing I learned about is something called social desirability bias which apparently is when someone is dishonest in their responses in an attempt to provide responses they feel are more socially acceptable (Ethical Research Involving Children, 2021). People do this in an attempt to avoid judgment or feelings of shame.
This got me wondering about how often this occurs within group recovery settings. Some of the methods mentioned on how to reduce this bias include building report, and anonymity. We have some degree of both within the rooms which perhaps limits this bias. You do at times hear people who seem to give canned responses or AA speak, is this due to this bias? Or maybe due to groupthink? Or something else?
There have been some recent changes in the social dynamics in my social circle at my recovery home group meeting. It leaves me a bit apprehensive as I prepare for the meeting tonight. I spoke about it with my therapist yesterday, made sure I got a lot of sunlight and physical exercise today, and now with this journaling, all of this will hopefully help prepare me and help prevent internal emotional shifts. I can tell stories for days. Fictional some, perhaps some based in truth but regardless of whether it is true or not, these stories can prevent me from being able to be present and emotionally grounded. Sometimes the stories are so hurtful it feels like being kicked in the stomach. Brutal. My goal for tonight is to enjoy being present with my people.
I guess that is what’s good for today. Wishing you all peace and present moments!
Ethical Research Involving Children. (2021, February 3). Ethical guidance for research involving children. Retrieved February 26, 2022, from https://childethics.com/ethical-guidance/